The Road to 50

I am excited for this journey to 50 because this is the first time ever that I feel I deserve to be celebrated.  Sure, in the past I have thought, resentfully and sometimes enviously that I should be celebrated. Most of those times it was because i was comparing myself to the next person and thinking I deserve it more. Probably because I am a nicer person than them, or I was feeling unappreciated and therefore demanded celebration and recognition. In all of those times I was demanding celebration out of pain and when it came I could never really feel fulfilled. Time after time I would wonder why I am not enjoying being. I never really looked deep inside for the reason. I always thought hearing people's affirmations would satisfy me but sadly I would feel like a phoney. That was until I realized that I do not really think I'm worthy of celebrating,  and that was a hard truth. So I had to walk back to myself to find out why I thought that way. The answer was very simple but not easy . I realised I have to celebrate myself first and foremost for the outside celebration to make sense and fit properly. So this time I am celebrating myself first and i am loving it. I am showering myself with praise and affirmation and everyone else's celebration is just a bonus!

Here is to love! For yourself first before you can give it to anyone else!