The scourge of perfectionism 😔

Well hello there, yes I'm talking to you. Let me start with a question, do you suffer from perfectionism? I mean like real paralysing perfectionism that renders you absolutely terrified to move on lest you mess up. Well I do, and today its hounding me like the plague. Seriously I dont know if it's my desire for perfection or maybe I'm just not that good at this project I'm working on. I've been up since 6am, after going to bed after 1am trying to make this thing come out perfectly, but its seems it is determined to humble me. Maybe the trying is the problem, I should rather just do it, hey. See, I dont have a problem with other people imperfections,  I mean I am very forgiving of others' missteps and all. It's when it comes to me that things get iffy, I dont know why, but I cannot rest unless I am absolutely certain that what I'm producing is of the highest quality. Can you imagine the pressure? A ton is much lighter i tell you. I mean i am very much aware that i am by no means Superwoman, and therefore i cannot always produce flawless results, but that doesnt stop me from feeling like a failure everytime I think I've missed the mark. Funny thing though is any outsider would tell me that my product is impeccable, but I still would feel that they are just being nice about it. Anyone else ever have that happen? Or is it just me? So here i am again today battling this seemingly easy task, and feeling like my best isnt going to be good enough. Your well wishes and prayers are welcome. I have tried it in several ways, redone it so many times I dread restarting, but I must finish it because I am on a deadline. HELP! Anyway not to leave you all with despair, I know I need to embrace the perfectionist in me, hug her lovingly and remind her that it's okay to fail because therein is growth. I need to look her in the eye and remind her that she is safe to try and try again. Remind her that even if she does not produce perfection, I love her nonetheless. I am going to hug myself and remind myself that I am perfectly imperfect. I love myself through the imperfection. It is safe for me to fail and try again. Failing is part of learning, it is not the end, it is learning what does not work so I can try other ways. I choose to fail forward. I fall and rise up to try again, as the book of wisdom says in Proverbs 24 verse 16 "Though a righteous man falls seven times, he will get up."

Here's to falling and rising stronger and wiser! Much love💞